antiandrogen

Where have I�gone wrong? Why are my friends sooo terrible. I�just donapos;t get it. I donapos;t understand why things are going the way they are.
I started this year with such plans to change how my life had been. And somehow instead of making it better it somehow got worse.
I�mean my life has always not been....to social. Thatapos;s just been how itapos;s always been. But I�usually had at least a few good friends. This year I decided that needed to change, that I�needed to talk to people more and make more friends and just get out of my shell and help my social life. And instead of that happening, I�have no one. Everyone is just assholes, backstabbers, or too busy screwing the person theyapos;re dating to pay attention to anyone else. WHAT�IS�WRONG�WITH�PEOPLE? And as for being nice to people well that got messed up on day one, because I find out people in the theatre dept., where I�spend pretty much all my time, hate me because a story that isnapos;t even true So it was already a lost cause, and then I�got attacked by other people about my ex with lies heapos;s telling because he doesnapos;t wanna fess up to what he did to me, so itapos;s easier to make it look like my fault. So I tried to drop my defenses and start new, and I�got attacked by everyone And this year...Iapos;m also sick of fake friends. Ya kno the ones who are backstabbing and just too concided to be a real friend. So it was my own choice to let some people go. apos;Cause I mean..they werenapos;t my friend anyway, we werenapos;t hanging out. Nothing So whatapos;s the point of being nice to people who are being a jerk to me. And idk, some people just became assholes.
But I just donapos;t get it, Iapos;ve not been mean to everyone. Iapos;ve tried to be nice, Iapos;ve tried to talk more, to be more involved .And people are nice back...but Iapos;m not making friends.
And itapos;s not when itapos;s hard. Iapos;m falling apart, I�canapos;t even find people to sit with at lunch. I stay hidden in the library so people donapos;t know. I�hate to admit how lame I�am right now And I donapos;t know why. And worse I�donapos;t know how to change it I�just want this all to change, I�want things to seem like theyapos;re coming together instead of falling apart. I�feel like the world has blown up and the light has gone out and Iapos;m now staning alone on a tiny piece of the earth in the cold and the dark, alone and scared and confused..and there is no one there No one on the way Just...alone
And this year, unlike last year, I�canapos;t find anyone to date. Itapos;s ironic. Last year I�wanted the time to be single and get over the past and just, ya know, enjoy the first year or college and I�just wasnapos;t ready to date. But this year Im finially ready to move on and...no one. This year guys want to be my friend. WHERE�WERE�YOU�LAST�YEAR Or theyapos;re already dating someone. Or if they do like me...theyapos;re just too dorky and just...not my type. I�mean maybe I"m just being, ok I know I"m am, waaay to picky but I�just donapos;t wanna drop my standards. I did that once and I�ended up in a really bad relationship and I donapos;t wanna do that again.
This just isnapos;t my year. My dreams are falling apart, I donapos;t know what I�want to do with my life, I have no friends and no hope for a relationship right now. I�have nothing. Life is so empty. Itapos;s just one of those time...I�just wish...things would start to look up.

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